Navigating the Holidays for the Eating Disordered

Newsweek has a much-need article right now on "Holiday Help for Those with Eating Disorders." The tips are aimed at the families of the eating disordered. For those whose parents don't know, I hope they at least suspect, and will take the tips to heart. They are:

1. Strategize. 

"(sometimes just having such an abundance of food can trigger bulimic episodes) So plan ahead. Whether it's making some foods available or just making others less obvious."

2. Don't Force.

"Insisting that an eating-disordered family member attend the big Christmas brunch or pile on another few slices of ham can be very harmful."

3. Don't Focus on the Food.

"The season's focus on food and cooking means that people with diagnosed disorders feel that their eating habits will be watched closely, and people who are trying to hide disorders will be especially worried about being caught."

4. It's Not Personal.

"The rest of the family will dig in, so if you're a host or hostess, don't be offended if a particular guest has a light plate."

These are excellent, appropriate tips for family members, and I would have had a much easier time in years past if my family had followed them. But my family, while I assume they suspected, has never confronted me about my disordered eating habits. So, I will modify these tips for those of you in similar situations. 

1. Strategize.

This advice still applies. Start thinking now about how you will handle the holidays. In my case, I will not be spending the week surrounding Christmas with my family, but only a couple nights. I don't want to be surrounded by that much food for that extended period of a time. I realize this is not the most healthy behavior either, but right now, it's right for me.

2. Don't Force.

Plan ahead exactly what you will say if you are being pressured to eat when you're full. A simple, assertive "No, thank you, I'm not hungry," should do the trick. 

3. Don't Focus on the Food. 

The holidays are filled with downtime. I try to pack my day with activities like shopping, visiting with friends, and watching movies. If your mind is on socializing, it won't be obsessing about the food and the calories in it.

4. It's Not Personal.

If you do want to have a light plate of food, just be sure to tell the hostess how much you loved everything. In a time of year that can be so triggering for disordered eaters, you need to be prioritizing your own well-being. Your eating does not have an effect on other people.

What are your plans of attack?